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Talalsrilanka
A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted. Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.

Youth is a malady of which one becomes cured a little every day. He’s turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he’s miserable and depressed.

Always laugh when you can. It is cheapest medicine.

Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life.

An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, 'So far so good!'

You can't have everything....where would you put it?

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
Mark Twain

If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings including this one.

Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from a dunce.
Lord Byron

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

It a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.
W. Sommerset Morgan

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

College is a refuge from hasty judgment.
Robert Frost

It's funny how most activists are pacifists.
Craig Bruce

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
Steven Wright

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.
Homer Simpson

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Groucho Marx

If you can’t live without me, Why aren’t you dead yet?

Love your enemies. It'll make 'em crazy.

Silence is golden but duck tape is silver.
Anonymous

I told the Inland Revenue I didn’t owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside.
Ken Dodd

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
J.B. Morton

Romance often begins by a splashing waterfall and ends over a leaky sink. Anonymous

I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Shall I not have intelligence with the earth? Am I not partly leaves and vegetable mould myself.
Henry David Thoreau

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly! Ha, ha!
Eddie Murphy, Shrek

I found a great way to attract money... work!
Curtis D. Tucker

Death is a once in a lifetime experience.

Man has his will, but woman has her way.
Holmes

If life is a bowl of cherries, why am I stuck with the pits?

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

I am in my own little world but it's okay they know me here.

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad cheque.



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God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
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It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.
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Change is inevitable except from a vending machine.
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Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
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If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people.
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Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk,my first instinct is to laugh.But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me.Then it wouldn’t seem quite so funny.- Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.---- Woody Allen
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Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes? --- Groucho Marx
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I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack.
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Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor?
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A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't. ~Author Unknown
madho_1
nice saying
Bratvany
Great..this is my fav from ur list :Love your enemies. It'll make 'em crazy. clap.gif clap.gif

Talalsrilanka
QUOTE (Bratvany @ Jul 7 2010, 07:05 PM) *
Great..this is my fav from ur list :Love your enemies. It'll make 'em crazy. clap.gif clap.gif



its reality clap.gif
Talalsrilanka
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I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. ~Elayne Boosler
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Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you. ~Colin Sautar
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To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the project manager, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
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The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office. - Robert Frost
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The most important thing is not to stop questioning. - Albert Einstein
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Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others. -----Confucius
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You are a time millionaire - for a rich life invest wisely. (Richard Andrews
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You may have DIALOG or MOBITEL connection, but when you sneeze, all you say is "HUTCH"
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You can find tea in a tea cup.. but cannot find world in a world cup.
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Drive carefully! Remember, it's not only a car that can be recalled by it's maker. - Anonymous
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That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.



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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. ---- Fran Lebowitz
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She ran off quicker than s*** off a shovel.
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As confused as a hungry baby in a topless bar.
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About as useless as a jam sandwidch to a drowning rabbit.
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Optimists think the glass is half full. Pessimists think the glass is half empty. Realists know that someone will have to wash the glass.
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Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying.
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Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
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Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.
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Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.- Kin Hubbard
Drawing on my fine command of the language, I said nothing.
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I don't care what is written about me as long as it isn't true. ----Katherine Hepburn



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I never criticise referees and i'm not going to change a habit for that prat. - Ron Atkinson
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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for ouranniversary?" She said,"Somewhere I have never been!" I told her,"How about the kitchen?"—Anonymous
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If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.
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Here's to you and here's to me, and I hope we never disagree. But, if that should ever be, to HELL with you, here's to ME!
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If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. – Anonymous
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Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes.------ Frieda Norris
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I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
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A glow worm is never glum… Because, how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out of your bum?
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Cricket is basically baseball on valium. ---- Robin Williams
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My mind is like a steel trap - rusty and illegal in 37 states.

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Laugh often, Dream big, Reach for the stars!
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A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking. The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good, in spite of all the people who say he is very good.
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Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
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Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
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If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.
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If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.
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A comedian does funny things. A good comedian does things funny.- Buster Keaton
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Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.- Unknown
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Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes? ----Groucho Marx
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I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack.


RaganorK
Go on and on and on... the smile on my lips should not fade while reading it..
Talalsrilanka
thx man
inakhe
10.gif clap.gif
nihalsameer12
wow...laugh.gif
CLEOPATTRA
10.gif 10.gif clap.gif clap.gif clap.gif
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