How to Choose Between Two Lovers
It is difficult being in a relationship with one person, let alone having to choose between two different people. When emotions are involved it complicates things even more. However, if you have to make that decision, you want to make sure you make the right choice. These simple steps will help you choose between two lovers.
Decide who you have more in common with. People like people for different reasons. When you’re trying to choose between two lovers, you really need to ask yourself who you have more in common with. While opposites do attract, in the long run they tend to clash.
Decide if one is love and one is infatuation. If you’re in love with both of them this decision will be very difficult and you’ll have to move on to the next step to make your decision. However, if you realize that one is mere infatuation and the other is true love, you’ll know where you stand. Realize that love goes beyond physical attraction.
Recognize the strengths of each person. Surely if you have two different lovers there are different reasons why you love each one. It really helps to make a list. Get a notebook and jot down the strengths of each person. Compare the list and recognize who seems to have more positives.
Recognize the faults of each person. Make a list of the faults that each individual has. Recognize that everyone has faults. However, some faults you can live with and others you can’t. Think of every possible thing that you can come up and write it down. It is important to realize that you need to be honest with yourself.
Compare your lists. Once you’ve written down the pros and cons of each person, compare the lists. Look at what you came up with and decide what you feel you can handle. Seeing everything on paper puts things into perspective.
Make a decision and stick with it. Once you’ve figured out the pros and cons, it’s time to make a decision. It’s important to understand that having two lovers is not fair to anyone. It’s not fair to you and it’s certainly not fair to either of your lovers. Make a decision about who you want to be with and stick to that decision. You may need to cut off contact with your other lover in order to move on. Once you are focused on one person, your relationship will flourish because three is company and not a relationship.
Tips & Warnings
Take time away from both lovers while you make your decision.
Once you’ve reached a decision, cut off contact with the person you aren’t going to be with. If you continue contact, it will hurt the relationship that you’ve decided to commit to.