An on duty Gendarme spots a hire car approaching the Champs Elysees with
a rear light out. He beckons the driver to pull over, which he does and
winds his window down. The Officer has a good look inside the car and
notices that the driver and passenger are conjoined twins, Boaby & Davy.
Instead of making an issue over the light out situation he begins to
engage in some friendly chat.
Gendarme: Ah, you are on holiday my friends?
Davy: Aye, that's right big yin. We've been coming every September
weekend for the last 9 years.
Gendarme: So I guess you come to France to get away from ze rainy
weather you have in Ecosse?
Davy: Naw, it nearly always pishes doon when we come here. Your
weather's nae better than oors, in't that right Boaby?
Gendarme: Zen I take it you are here to enjoy our delicious French food,
Davy: Naw, yer food's mingin big man, everything reeks of garlic. We've
brought a box full of pieces to avoid eating your crap.
Gendarme: Zen you must be here to drink our famous wines and cognac,
Davy: Yer swally's boggin, we've hid tae bring a kerry oot. In't that
Gendarme (by now ever so slightly bemused): Well in that case you must
be here to see the Parisienne madamoiselles, ze most beautiful women in
Davy: Yer kiddin in't ye! The burds here are dugs, ah widnae touch them
wae yours big yin.
Gendarme (by now rather irate): Zen why do you people come to our
country if everysing ees so bad?
Boaby: It's the only chance oor Davy gets tae drive!