A rather well proportioned young lady,
spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of the hotel.
She wore a bathing suit the first day but, on the second, being a naturist,
she decided that no one could see her way up there, & she slipped out of it for an overall tan.
She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs.
She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.
"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered little assistant manager of the hotel,
out of breath from running up the stairs.
"The hotel doesn't mind you sunbathing on the roof
but we would very much appreciate you wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday."
"What difference does it make," Joan asked rather calmly.
"No one can see me up here, & besides, I'm covered with a towel."
"Not exactly," said the embarrassed little man.
"You're lying on the dining room skylight."
A family was having dinner on Mother's Day. For some reason the mother was
unusually quiet. Finally the husband asked what was wrong.
"Nothing," said the woman.
Not buying it, he asked again. "Seriously, what's wrong?"
"Do you really want to know? Well, I'll tell you. I have cooked and cleaned and
fed the kids for 15 years and on Mother's Day, you don't even tell me so much as
"Thank you."
"Why should I?" he said. "Not once in 15 years have I gotten a Father's Day
gift."
"Yes," she said, "but I'm their real mother."
Full Version: Jokes- Part 2!
Pages: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37
The fly that dropped
There was a fly flying 6 inches above a lake.
A fish in the lake thinks, "If that fy dropped 6 inches I'd get it!"
A bear on land thinks, "If that fly dropped 6 inches, the fish would jump out of the water, and I'd get it!"
A hunter thinks, "If that fly dropped 6 inches, the fish would jump, the bear will go to get the fish, and I'll shoot the bear!"
A mouse thinks, "If that fly drops 6 inches, the fish would jump, the bear would go to get the fish, the hunter will go to get the bear, and I'll steal the cheese off his sandwich!"
A cat thinks, "If that fly drops 6 inches, the fish would jump, the bear would go to get the fish, the hunter will go to get the bear, the mouse will go get the cheese, and I'll get that mouse!"
Suddenly it all happened,
The fly dropped 6 inches, the fish got the fly, the bear get the fish, the hunter got the bear, the mouse got the hunter's cheese, but the cat missed the mouse and fell in the water!!!!!
The Moral Of This Story Is ...
Every time time a fly drops 6 inches, a p u s s y gets wet
There was a fly flying 6 inches above a lake.
A fish in the lake thinks, "If that fy dropped 6 inches I'd get it!"
A bear on land thinks, "If that fly dropped 6 inches, the fish would jump out of the water, and I'd get it!"
A hunter thinks, "If that fly dropped 6 inches, the fish would jump, the bear will go to get the fish, and I'll shoot the bear!"
A mouse thinks, "If that fly drops 6 inches, the fish would jump, the bear would go to get the fish, the hunter will go to get the bear, and I'll steal the cheese off his sandwich!"
A cat thinks, "If that fly drops 6 inches, the fish would jump, the bear would go to get the fish, the hunter will go to get the bear, the mouse will go get the cheese, and I'll get that mouse!"
Suddenly it all happened,
The fly dropped 6 inches, the fish got the fly, the bear get the fish, the hunter got the bear, the mouse got the hunter's cheese, but the cat missed the mouse and fell in the water!!!!!
The Moral Of This Story Is ...
Every time time a fly drops 6 inches, a p u s s y gets wet
"well nice to meet a native girl" Oopsession
There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.
The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred. The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.
Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion, 'Why don't we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it'll work !?'
There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.
The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred. The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.
Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion, 'Why don't we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it'll work !?'
shoutout good joke 
Boys and Girls
An 8 year old boy walks home from school each day past an 8 year old girls house. One day as he is passing by, carrying a football, he can't resist taunting the girl. He holds up the football and says,
"See this football? Football is a boys game, and only boys can have a football!".
The little girl runs into the house and cries to her mother, "I want a football!" Being a woman of the 90's, her mother runs out and gets her one. The next day the girl is waiting for the little boy and he rides up on his bike.
She holds up the football... "Nah Na Nah Nah".
The little boy angrily points to his bike and says,
"Oh yeah, well this is a boys bike and only boys get boys bikes and you can't have one!"
She runs in to mom and the next day is waiting for him on her new boys bike.
The little boy gets furious and pulls down his pants, and pointing to his most private of parts says,
"Look, only boys have these and your mom can't buy you one!!!".
The next day he walks by and says to her,
"Well, I guess I showed you!" to which she promptly pulls up her dress, points to her parts and proclaims "My mother tells me that as long as I have one of these I can have as many of THOSE as I want!"
An 8 year old boy walks home from school each day past an 8 year old girls house. One day as he is passing by, carrying a football, he can't resist taunting the girl. He holds up the football and says,
"See this football? Football is a boys game, and only boys can have a football!".
The little girl runs into the house and cries to her mother, "I want a football!" Being a woman of the 90's, her mother runs out and gets her one. The next day the girl is waiting for the little boy and he rides up on his bike.
She holds up the football... "Nah Na Nah Nah".
The little boy angrily points to his bike and says,
"Oh yeah, well this is a boys bike and only boys get boys bikes and you can't have one!"
She runs in to mom and the next day is waiting for him on her new boys bike.
The little boy gets furious and pulls down his pants, and pointing to his most private of parts says,
"Look, only boys have these and your mom can't buy you one!!!".
The next day he walks by and says to her,
"Well, I guess I showed you!" to which she promptly pulls up her dress, points to her parts and proclaims "My mother tells me that as long as I have one of these I can have as many of THOSE as I want!"
It seems that when the Lord was making the world, he called man over and bestowed upon him twenty years of normal sex life.
Man was horrified. "Only twenty years of normal sex life?" but the Lord was very adamant, that was all man could have.
Then the Lord called the monkey and gave him twenty years. "But I don't need twenty years", he protested, "ten is plenty for me."
Man spoke up eagerly, "Can I have the other ten?" The monkey graciously agreed.
Then the Lord called the lion and gave him twenty years, and the lion, like the monkey wanted only ten. Again the man spoke up, "Can I have the other ten?" The lion said that of course he could.
Then came the donkey and he was given twenty years-but like the others, ten was sufficient-and again man pleaded, "Can I have the other ten?" The donkey said that yes he could.
This explains why man has twenty years of normal sex life, plus ten years of monkeying around, ten years of lion about it, and ten years of making an a** of or selfs.
Man was horrified. "Only twenty years of normal sex life?" but the Lord was very adamant, that was all man could have.
Then the Lord called the monkey and gave him twenty years. "But I don't need twenty years", he protested, "ten is plenty for me."
Man spoke up eagerly, "Can I have the other ten?" The monkey graciously agreed.
Then the Lord called the lion and gave him twenty years, and the lion, like the monkey wanted only ten. Again the man spoke up, "Can I have the other ten?" The lion said that of course he could.
Then came the donkey and he was given twenty years-but like the others, ten was sufficient-and again man pleaded, "Can I have the other ten?" The donkey said that yes he could.
This explains why man has twenty years of normal sex life, plus ten years of monkeying around, ten years of lion about it, and ten years of making an a** of or selfs.
Two British sailors attended a church service in Stockholm. Not speaking a word of Swedish and not wishing to appear out of place they sat behind an important looking man and when he stood up or knelt down, they did the same.
At the end of the service, the pastor made what was evidently an announcement, whereupon the man in front of the sailors rose to his feet, and they did likewise - to a roar of laughter from the congregation.
As the sailors left the church, the pastor spoke to them in English, so they asked him the reason for the laughter.
"Oh!" he said, "I mentioned that next Sunday morning there was to be a baptism and would the father of the child please stand up."
At the end of the service, the pastor made what was evidently an announcement, whereupon the man in front of the sailors rose to his feet, and they did likewise - to a roar of laughter from the congregation.
As the sailors left the church, the pastor spoke to them in English, so they asked him the reason for the laughter.
"Oh!" he said, "I mentioned that next Sunday morning there was to be a baptism and would the father of the child please stand up."
Boy or Girl?
There were women waiting in a doctor's office.
They started talking and one women said, "I'm going to have a girl because I was on the bottom last time and I had a girl. I was on the bottom again this time so I'm going to have another girl."
One of the other ladies said, "I'm going to have a boy, I was on the top."
The last lady started to cry.
The two other ladies asked, "Why are you crying?"
She replied, "I'm going to have puppies!!!
There were women waiting in a doctor's office.
They started talking and one women said, "I'm going to have a girl because I was on the bottom last time and I had a girl. I was on the bottom again this time so I'm going to have another girl."
One of the other ladies said, "I'm going to have a boy, I was on the top."
The last lady started to cry.
The two other ladies asked, "Why are you crying?"
She replied, "I'm going to have puppies!!!
lmao great joke Oopsession
TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY IN GOLF BUT AREN'T
10. Nuts...my shaft is bent.
9. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
7. Look at the size of his putter.
6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.
5. Mind if I join your threesome?
4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.
3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired.
1. Hold up...I need to wash my balls first.
TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY IN GOLF BUT AREN'T
10. Nuts...my shaft is bent.
9. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
7. Look at the size of his putter.
6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.
5. Mind if I join your threesome?
4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.
3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired.
1. Hold up...I need to wash my balls first.
TOP TEN REASONS WHY TRICK OR TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX.....
10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9. If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
7. You don't have to compliment the person who gives you so me.
6. It's O.K. when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you are.
5. Forty years from now you'll still enjoy candy.
4. If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.
3. It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.
2. Less guilt the morning after.
1. You can do the whole neighborhood.
10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9. If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
7. You don't have to compliment the person who gives you so me.
6. It's O.K. when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you are.
5. Forty years from now you'll still enjoy candy.
4. If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.
3. It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.
2. Less guilt the morning after.
1. You can do the whole neighborhood.
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labour.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
P. Niss
Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and upon considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are - often seen visiting
other
locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and - stimulated
in
order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as -
wearing
the
correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have -
completed
the assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering - and
exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
V. Gina
I do physical labour.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
P. Niss
Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and upon considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are - often seen visiting
other
locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and - stimulated
in
order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as -
wearing
the
correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have -
completed
the assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering - and
exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
V. Gina
They really do sound dirty
[quote=Oopsession,Sep 11 2006, 01:37 PM]
[color=purple] They really do sound dirty
thats why i love golf lmao
[color=purple]
They really do sound dirty thats why i love golf lmao
I see that's why it's so popular 
The Gift
A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic, but not too personal. Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to Nordstrom and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself.
During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note:
"I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears short ones that are easier to remove".
"These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really good".
"I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again".
"When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing".
"Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night. All my love".
"P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing."
A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic, but not too personal. Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to Nordstrom and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself.
During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note:
"I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears short ones that are easier to remove".
"These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really good".
"I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again".
"When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing".
"Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night. All my love".
"P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing."
Italian Men Spelling Mississippi
A bus stops and two obviously Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I pee twice. Then I come once more."
"You foul-mouthed wop swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, cool down lady," said the man. "I was only tellin' my friend here how to spell Mississippi."
A bus stops and two obviously Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I pee twice. Then I come once more."
"You foul-mouthed wop swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, cool down lady," said the man. "I was only tellin' my friend here how to spell Mississippi."
great joeks as per usual 
From A Mother With Love
Dear Child,
I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home.
Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved.
I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure if it works too well though.
Last week I put a load in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.
The weather isn't too bad here., it only rained twice last week, The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got another bill from the funeral home.
They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Shelby out.
Your sister had a baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. If the baby is a girl, your sister is going to name it after me, she's going to call it Mom.
Uncle Pete fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some man tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.
There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.
PS, I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.
Dear Child,
I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home.
Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved.
I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure if it works too well though.
Last week I put a load in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.
The weather isn't too bad here., it only rained twice last week, The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got another bill from the funeral home.
They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Shelby out.
Your sister had a baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. If the baby is a girl, your sister is going to name it after me, she's going to call it Mom.
Uncle Pete fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some man tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.
There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.
PS, I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.
The bitter winter was almost over when one shepherd confessed to the
other
that he could hardly wait until it was time to shear their flock. The
other shepherd nodded, rubbing his hands togather in anticipation.
"It will be great selling the wool and spending money on wine and women,
eh?"
"That's not it," his friend said. "I just can't WAIT to see them naked!"
other
that he could hardly wait until it was time to shear their flock. The
other shepherd nodded, rubbing his hands togather in anticipation.
"It will be great selling the wool and spending money on wine and women,
eh?"
"That's not it," his friend said. "I just can't WAIT to see them naked!"
The only cow in a small Kentucky town stopped giving milk. The people did
some research and found that they could buy a cow just across the state
line in Illinois for $200.
They brought the cow from Illinois and the cow was wonderful. It produced
lots of milk all of the time, and the people were very happy.
They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow to produce more cows
like it. They would never have to worry about their milk supply again.
They bought the bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow.
However, whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move
away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from
the bull and he could not succeed in his quest. The people were very upset
and decided to ask the Vet, who was very wise, what to do.
They told the Vet what was happening. "Whenever the bull tries to mount
our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves
forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An attempt
from the side, she walks away to the other side."
The Vet thought about this for a minute and asked, "Did you by chance, buy
this cow in Illinois?"
The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned where they
bought the cow. "You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know
we got the cow in Illinois?"
The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye, "My wife is from
Illinois."
Great jokes guys Quiz: Are You a Real Man?
1. In the company of feminists, coitus should be referred to as:
a) Lovemaking
Screwingc) The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
a) Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
Your blood-test resultsc) Five tequila slammers
3. You time your orgasm so that:
a) Your partner climaxes first
You both climax simultaneouslyc) You don't miss SportsCenter
4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
a) Healthy, creative love-play
Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree toc) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about
5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
a) The best part of the experience
The second best part of the experiencec) $100 extra
6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the last month. You tell her that it is:
a) No concern of yours
Not a problem - she can join your gymc) A conservative estimate
7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
a) A myth
An oxymoronc) A moron
8. Foreplay is to sex as:
a) Appetiser is to entree
Priming is to paintingc) A queue is to an amusement park ride
9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
a) "I hope we can still be friends."
"I'm not in right now. Please leave a message after the tone...."c) "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You."
10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
a) Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
Is uptight and a waste of timec) Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place
If you answered 'A' more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really are a man.
If you answered 'B' more than 7 times, check into therapy, you're still a little confused.
If you answered 'C' more than 7 times, call me up. Let's go drinking.
lmao nice one umm but not say if i got more a b or c love tequila slammers but
love tequila slammers but
QUOTE
If you answered 'C' more than 7 times, call me up. Let's go drinking.
Where do you want to meet?
How about your bedroom
One day an 85-year-old man is taking a stroll around his hometown, which
he has lived in for his whole life. As he sees the landmarks, homes, and
streets from his youth, he starts reminiscing...
"I remember helping build that bridge when I was 25. I worked hard on
that. But people won't call you 'the bridge builder' if you do that here.
No, no, they don't!"
"I remember building that house over there when I was 30. But people
won't call you 'the house builder' if you do that. No, no they don't!"
"I remember building that tavern that I still lounge at when I was 35. If
you do that people won't call you 'the tavern builder' either. They sure
won't!"
"But if you
one goat..."
he has lived in for his whole life. As he sees the landmarks, homes, and
streets from his youth, he starts reminiscing...
"I remember helping build that bridge when I was 25. I worked hard on
that. But people won't call you 'the bridge builder' if you do that here.
No, no, they don't!"
"I remember building that house over there when I was 30. But people
won't call you 'the house builder' if you do that. No, no they don't!"
"I remember building that tavern that I still lounge at when I was 35. If
you do that people won't call you 'the tavern builder' either. They sure
won't!"
"But if you
one goat..."
Advice to young women
1. It is important to find a man who works around the house,
cooks and cleans, and helps care for the kids, and who
makes money.
2. It is important to find a man who loves to spend money on
you, and show you a good time.
3. It is important to find a man who's good in bed and who
loves to have sex with you.
4. It is important that these three men never meet.
1. It is important to find a man who works around the house,
cooks and cleans, and helps care for the kids, and who
makes money.
2. It is important to find a man who loves to spend money on
you, and show you a good time.
3. It is important to find a man who's good in bed and who
loves to have sex with you.
4. It is important that these three men never meet.
great joke 
A man is working on the buses in the US collecting tickets.
He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman half getting on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the man is sent down for murder and seeing as it's Texas he's sent to the electric chair. On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish.
"Well" says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?" "Yes" answers the executioner. "Can I have that green banana?"
The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits till he's eaten it. When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending hundreds of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is still alive. The executioner can't believe it.
"Can I go?" the man asks. "I suppose so" says the executioner, "that's never happened before."
The man leaves and eventually gets a job back on the buses selling tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair. The executioner is determined to do it right this time so rigs the chair up to the electric supply for the whole of Texas.
The bloke is again sat in the chair. "What is your final wish?" asks the executioner. "Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch ?" says the condemned man. The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch. Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the smoke clears the man is still sat there smiling in the
chair. The executioner can't believe it and lets the man go.
Well, would you believe, the bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this
time killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair again. The executioner rigs up all United States electricity supply to The chair, determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling.
"What's your final wish ?" asks the executioner. "Well" says the man, "Can I have that green banana out of your packed lunch.?" The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin included. The executioner pulls the handle and a brazillion volts go through the chair. When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without even a burn mark.
"I give up" says the executioner, "I don't understand how you
can still be alive after all that?". He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that green banana isn't it" he asked.
Nahh" said the bloke,
"I'm just a really bad conductor"
He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman half getting on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the man is sent down for murder and seeing as it's Texas he's sent to the electric chair. On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish.
"Well" says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?" "Yes" answers the executioner. "Can I have that green banana?"
The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits till he's eaten it. When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending hundreds of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is still alive. The executioner can't believe it.
"Can I go?" the man asks. "I suppose so" says the executioner, "that's never happened before."
The man leaves and eventually gets a job back on the buses selling tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair. The executioner is determined to do it right this time so rigs the chair up to the electric supply for the whole of Texas.
The bloke is again sat in the chair. "What is your final wish?" asks the executioner. "Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch ?" says the condemned man. The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch. Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the smoke clears the man is still sat there smiling in the
chair. The executioner can't believe it and lets the man go.
Well, would you believe, the bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this
time killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair again. The executioner rigs up all United States electricity supply to The chair, determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling.
"What's your final wish ?" asks the executioner. "Well" says the man, "Can I have that green banana out of your packed lunch.?" The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin included. The executioner pulls the handle and a brazillion volts go through the chair. When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without even a burn mark.
"I give up" says the executioner, "I don't understand how you
can still be alive after all that?". He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that green banana isn't it" he asked.
Nahh" said the bloke,
"I'm just a really bad conductor"
Male Language Patterns:
"I can't find it,"
REALLY MEANS, "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"That's women's work,"
REALLY MEANS, "It's dirty, difficult and thankless."
"Will you marry me?"
REALLY MEANS, "Both my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there is no more peanut butter."
"It's a guy thing,"
REALLY MEANS, "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
"Can I help with dinner?"
REALLY MEANS, "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"It would take too long to explain,"
REALLY MEANS, "I have no idea how it works."
"I'm getting more exercise lately,"
REALLY MEANS, "The batteries in the remote are dead."
"We're going to be late,"
REALLY MEANS, "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."
"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard,"
REALLY MEANS, "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"That's interesting, dear,"
REALLY MEANS, "Are you still talking?"
"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love,"
REALLY MEANS, "I forgot our anniversary again."
"You expect too much of me,"
REALLY MEANS, "You want me to stay awake."
"It's really a good movie,"
REALLY MEANS, "It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and naked women."
"You know how bad my memory is,"
REALLY MEANS, "I remember the words to the theme song of "F Troop", the address of the first girl I kissed, the Vehicle Identification Number of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
"I can't find it,"
REALLY MEANS, "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"That's women's work,"
REALLY MEANS, "It's dirty, difficult and thankless."
"Will you marry me?"
REALLY MEANS, "Both my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there is no more peanut butter."
"It's a guy thing,"
REALLY MEANS, "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
"Can I help with dinner?"
REALLY MEANS, "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"It would take too long to explain,"
REALLY MEANS, "I have no idea how it works."
"I'm getting more exercise lately,"
REALLY MEANS, "The batteries in the remote are dead."
"We're going to be late,"
REALLY MEANS, "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."
"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard,"
REALLY MEANS, "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"That's interesting, dear,"
REALLY MEANS, "Are you still talking?"
"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love,"
REALLY MEANS, "I forgot our anniversary again."
"You expect too much of me,"
REALLY MEANS, "You want me to stay awake."
"It's really a good movie,"
REALLY MEANS, "It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and naked women."
"You know how bad my memory is,"
REALLY MEANS, "I remember the words to the theme song of "F Troop", the address of the first girl I kissed, the Vehicle Identification Number of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
Male Language Patterns: is great
Mickey Mouse Wants A Divorce
Judge: Look here Mickey Mouse, I cannot grant you a divorce from Minnie.
Mickey (stunned): Why not?
Judge: I have reviewed all the information you gave the court, but i can't find any evidence at all to support the grounds that she is crazy.
Mickey (exasperated): Your honor! I didn't say she was crazy...
I said she was fuc*ing Goofy!
lmao love it
thanks shoutout..i liked that one too
Pregnant Nudist
A young girl had not been feeling well and went to her family doctor. "Young lady," said the doctor, "you're pregnant."
"But that can't be. The only men I've been with are nudists and in our colony we practise sex only with our eyes."
"Well my dear," said the doctor, "someone in that colony is cockeyed."
A young girl had not been feeling well and went to her family doctor. "Young lady," said the doctor, "you're pregnant."
"But that can't be. The only men I've been with are nudists and in our colony we practise sex only with our eyes."
"Well my dear," said the doctor, "someone in that colony is cockeyed."
Little Johnnie's neighbour had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.
When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie's family where invited over to see the baby.
Before they left their house,
Little Johnnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.
His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears,
he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.
Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely.
When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby." The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnnie.
" Johnnie said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?"
"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful - the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."
"That's great", said Little Johnnie, "cos he'd be f$$$$d if he needed glasses ..."
When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie's family where invited over to see the baby.
Before they left their house,
Little Johnnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.
His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears,
he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.
Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely.
When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby." The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnnie.
" Johnnie said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?"
"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful - the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."
"That's great", said Little Johnnie, "cos he'd be f$$$$d if he needed glasses ..."
Dog Cleaning Himself
Two winos are staggering down an alleyway, late at night, very drunk on cheap wine. Happy, arm in arm and singing, they suddenly stop dead in their tracks. Directly ahead of them is a fleabitten, old mongrel, male dog - cleaning himself. One wino staring with bloodshot, unfocused eyes and on unsteady legs at the dog, then his crotch and then back at the dog.
He says, "Wow..would I ever like to be able to do THAT!"
His friend looks at him, then the dog and then takes his drunken friend aside,
"You'd better pet him first....he looks vicious"
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman are all to give speeches to the
Deaf Society. All are keen to make an impression on their audience.
The Englishman goes first and to the surprise of his colleagues starts by
rubbing first his chest and then his groin. When he finishes the Scotsman
and Irishman ask him what he was doing.
'Well' he explained' By rubbing my chest I indicated breasts and thus
Ladies and by rubbing my groin I indicated balls and thus Gentlemen. So my
speech started Ladies and Gentlemen'.
On his way up to the podium the Scotsman thought to himself I'll go one
better than that English fool and started his speech by making an antler
symbol with his fingers above his head before also rubbing his chest and
his groin. When he finished his colleagues asked what he was doing.
'Well' he explained' By imitating antlers and then rubbing my chest and
groin I was starting my speech by saying Dear Ladies and Gentlemen'.
On his way up to the podium the Irishman thought to himself I'll go one
further than those mainland fools and started his speech by making an
antler symbol above his head, rubbing his chest, and then his groin, and
then masturbating furiously. When he finished his colleagues asked him
what he was doing.
'Well' he explained,' by imitating antlers, rubbing my chest and then my
groin and then masturbating I was starting my speech by saying 'Dear
Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure.......'
Deaf Society. All are keen to make an impression on their audience.
The Englishman goes first and to the surprise of his colleagues starts by
rubbing first his chest and then his groin. When he finishes the Scotsman
and Irishman ask him what he was doing.
'Well' he explained' By rubbing my chest I indicated breasts and thus
Ladies and by rubbing my groin I indicated balls and thus Gentlemen. So my
speech started Ladies and Gentlemen'.
On his way up to the podium the Scotsman thought to himself I'll go one
better than that English fool and started his speech by making an antler
symbol with his fingers above his head before also rubbing his chest and
his groin. When he finished his colleagues asked what he was doing.
'Well' he explained' By imitating antlers and then rubbing my chest and
groin I was starting my speech by saying Dear Ladies and Gentlemen'.
On his way up to the podium the Irishman thought to himself I'll go one
further than those mainland fools and started his speech by making an
antler symbol above his head, rubbing his chest, and then his groin, and
then masturbating furiously. When he finished his colleagues asked him
what he was doing.
'Well' he explained,' by imitating antlers, rubbing my chest and then my
groin and then masturbating I was starting my speech by saying 'Dear
Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure.......'
A guy worked in an adult book store. One afternoon his friend walked in.
The guy said, "Dude,thank goodness you showed up!" "I'm starving, and I
need you to watch the counter for me for a few minutes, while I run across
the street to get some lunch." The friend looked around the store, then
looked back at his friend oddly. The guy said, "Dude, don't ask any
questions, just sell it to em." The friend said, "Ok". So the guy left. A
customer came in, and went up to the counter. She said, "I want a
vibrator. What do you have?" The friend said, "We got red ones, white
ones, black ones, big ones, little ones and medium sized ones." The lady
said, "I'll take a little red one to carry in my bag." He sold it to her.
Another woman walked in. She approached the counter and said, "I would
like a vibrator, what do you have?" The friend replied, "Red, black or
white, large, medium or small. The woman asked, "Well, what about the red,
white and black checkered one up there?" The friend said, "Well, I'll sell
it to ya if you want," so she bought it. A few minutes later the guy came
back from lunch and said, "Thanks Dude, you're a life saver. So did you
sell anything?" The friend said, "Yeah, I sold a little red vibrator and a
thermos."
The guy said, "Dude,thank goodness you showed up!" "I'm starving, and I
need you to watch the counter for me for a few minutes, while I run across
the street to get some lunch." The friend looked around the store, then
looked back at his friend oddly. The guy said, "Dude, don't ask any
questions, just sell it to em." The friend said, "Ok". So the guy left. A
customer came in, and went up to the counter. She said, "I want a
vibrator. What do you have?" The friend said, "We got red ones, white
ones, black ones, big ones, little ones and medium sized ones." The lady
said, "I'll take a little red one to carry in my bag." He sold it to her.
Another woman walked in. She approached the counter and said, "I would
like a vibrator, what do you have?" The friend replied, "Red, black or
white, large, medium or small. The woman asked, "Well, what about the red,
white and black checkered one up there?" The friend said, "Well, I'll sell
it to ya if you want," so she bought it. A few minutes later the guy came
back from lunch and said, "Thanks Dude, you're a life saver. So did you
sell anything?" The friend said, "Yeah, I sold a little red vibrator and a
thermos."
Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. "Do you and
your wife ever do it doggie style?" asked the one.
"Well, not exactly." his friend replied, "she's more into the trick dog
aspect of it."
"Oh, I see, kinky, huh?"
"Well, not exactly - I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead."
your wife ever do it doggie style?" asked the one.
"Well, not exactly." his friend replied, "she's more into the trick dog
aspect of it."
"Oh, I see, kinky, huh?"
"Well, not exactly - I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead."
One day Little Susie got her "monthly bleeding" for the first time in her
life. Having failed to understand what was going on and being really
frightened, she decided to share her trouble with little Johnny. Having
found Johnny she told and showed him what her problem was. Johnnys face
grew serious and he said, "You know, I'm not a doctor, but it looks like
someone just ripped your balls off".
life. Having failed to understand what was going on and being really
frightened, she decided to share her trouble with little Johnny. Having
found Johnny she told and showed him what her problem was. Johnnys face
grew serious and he said, "You know, I'm not a doctor, but it looks like
someone just ripped your balls off".
A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he
reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was.
Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her
and noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.
"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're mating,"
her father replied.
"What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked.
"That's a Daddy Longlegs." Her father answered.
"So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.
"No," her father replied. "Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."
The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them
flat.
"Well, that might be OK in California, BUT we're not having any of that
s*** in Texas"
reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was.
Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her
and noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.
"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're mating,"
her father replied.
"What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked.
"That's a Daddy Longlegs." Her father answered.
"So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.
"No," her father replied. "Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."
The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them
flat.
"Well, that might be OK in California, BUT we're not having any of that
s*** in Texas"
ROFL great jokes
Dr. Parker, the biology instructor at a posh suburban
girl's junior college, said during class, "Miss Smith,
would you please name the organ of the human body, which
under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its
normal size, and define the conditions."
Miss Smith gasped, blushed deeply, then said freezingly,
Dr. Parker, I do not think that is a proper question to
ask me, you should be asking a boy. And I assure you my
parents will hear of this." With that she sat down, very
red-faced.
Unperturbed, Dr. Parker called on Miss Johnson and asked
the same question. Miss Johnson, with composure, replied,
"The pupil of the eye, in dim light."
"Correct," said Dr. Parker. "And now, Miss Smith, I have
three things to say to you. One, you have not studied your
lesson. Two, you have a dirty mind. And three, you will
some day be faced with a dreadful disappointment."
Chapped Lips
Bill and John, two lumberjacks, are out cutting timber one cold day when Bill starts to complain about always having chapped lips then notices John never does. "Why don't you ever have chapped lips?"asks Bill. John answers, "It's simple - watch..."
John drops his pants, bends over and sticks his finger up his butt, then rubs his finger all over his lips. "Does that keep you from getting chapped lips"? Bill askes, "No" replies John, "but it sure keeps me from licking them"!
great jokes Dr. Parker, the biology instructor at a posh suburban
girl's junior college, said during class, "Miss Smith,
would you please name the organ of the human body, which
under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its
normal size, and define the conditions."
Miss Smith gasped, blushed deeply, then said freezingly,
Dr. Parker, I do not think that is a proper question to
ask me, you should be asking a boy. And I assure you my
parents will hear of this." With that she sat down, very
red-faced.
Unperturbed, Dr. Parker called on Miss Johnson and asked
the same question. Miss Johnson, with composure, replied,
"The pupil of the eye, in dim light."
"Correct," said Dr. Parker. "And now, Miss Smith, I have
three things to say to you. One, you have not studied your
lesson. Two, you have a dirty mind. And three, you will
some day be faced with a dreadful disappointment."
Chapped Lips
Bill and John, two lumberjacks, are out cutting timber one cold day when Bill starts to complain about always having chapped lips then notices John never does. "Why don't you ever have chapped lips?"asks Bill. John answers, "It's simple - watch..."
John drops his pants, bends over and sticks his finger up his butt, then rubs his finger all over his lips. "Does that keep you from getting chapped lips"? Bill askes, "No" replies John, "but it sure keeps me from licking them"!
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet:
"My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him."
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really quite heavy."
"My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him."
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really quite heavy."
Very funny. Great jokes all
Immigrants Eating Hot Dogs
Two guys immigrate to America. On their first day off the boat they are wandering around New York City seeing the sights. As lunch time approaches they decide they are hungry. They then come up to a street vendor selling hot dogs. One says to the other in a shocked tone, "My God - They eat dogs in America?"
"I can't believe it!" says the other, equally appalled.
"Well," says the first, "we're going to be Americans, so we must do as they do."
They approach the vendor bravely. "Two hot dogs, please." The vendor hands them their food in a pair of paper sacks. The two immigrants sit on a park bench to eat their lunch. One looks inside his sack, hesitates and turns to his partner and says, "Uh, which part of the dog did you get?"
Two guys immigrate to America. On their first day off the boat they are wandering around New York City seeing the sights. As lunch time approaches they decide they are hungry. They then come up to a street vendor selling hot dogs. One says to the other in a shocked tone, "My God - They eat dogs in America?"
"I can't believe it!" says the other, equally appalled.
"Well," says the first, "we're going to be Americans, so we must do as they do."
They approach the vendor bravely. "Two hot dogs, please." The vendor hands them their food in a pair of paper sacks. The two immigrants sit on a park bench to eat their lunch. One looks inside his sack, hesitates and turns to his partner and says, "Uh, which part of the dog did you get?"
Sister Mary burst into the office of the principal of Our Lady of
Perpetual Motion parochial school in an advanced state of agitation.
"Father!" she cried, "just wait until you hear this!" The priest led the
sister to a chair, and said, " Now just calm down and tell me what has
you
so excited?" "Well, father" the nun began, "I was just walking down the
hall to the chapel and I heard some of the older boys wagering money!"
"A serious infraction, indeed!" said the priest.
"But that's not what has me so excited, father" replied the nun, " it was
WHAT they were wagering ON! They had wagered on a contest to see who
could
urinate the highest on the wall!!"
"What an incredible wager!" exclaimed the priest, "What did you do?"
"Well, I hit the ceiling, father."
"How much did you win?"
Perpetual Motion parochial school in an advanced state of agitation.
"Father!" she cried, "just wait until you hear this!" The priest led the
sister to a chair, and said, " Now just calm down and tell me what has
you
so excited?" "Well, father" the nun began, "I was just walking down the
hall to the chapel and I heard some of the older boys wagering money!"
"A serious infraction, indeed!" said the priest.
"But that's not what has me so excited, father" replied the nun, " it was
WHAT they were wagering ON! They had wagered on a contest to see who
could
urinate the highest on the wall!!"
"What an incredible wager!" exclaimed the priest, "What did you do?"
"Well, I hit the ceiling, father."
"How much did you win?"
A teenage girl comes home from school and asks her mother. "Is it true what Rita just told me? Babies come out of the same place where boys put
their penises?"
"Yes, dear," replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.
"But then when I have a baby," the teenager pondered, "won't it knock all my teeth out?"
their penises?"
"Yes, dear," replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.
"But then when I have a baby," the teenager pondered, "won't it knock all my teeth out?"
It was a nice sunny day when three men were walking down a country road,
when they saw a bush with a pig's a** popping out.
The first man says, "I wish that was Demi Moore's a**"
The second man says, "I wish that was Pamela Anderson's a**."
Then the third man says, "I wish it was dark."
when they saw a bush with a pig's a** popping out.
The first man says, "I wish that was Demi Moore's a**"
The second man says, "I wish that was Pamela Anderson's a**."
Then the third man says, "I wish it was dark."
A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his
mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I
need a man!"
Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times. One
day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into
her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Little Johnny ran into his room,
took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself,
and moaning:
"Ohh, I need a bike! Ahh, I need a bike!"
mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I
need a man!"
Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times. One
day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into
her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Little Johnny ran into his room,
took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself,
and moaning:
"Ohh, I need a bike! Ahh, I need a bike!"
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