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> Jokes- Part 2!, Tell Us A Joke Ha ha!
storm016
post Jul 2 2006, 04:34 AM
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:haha: ......... he should have said bring me my yellow pants ..... :haha:
unless he got jaundice :haha:
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Oopsession
post Jul 2 2006, 05:42 AM
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:lol: Storm

A city boy wanted to marry a country girl. She insists that he has to ask her father for her hand in marriage. So off he goes to their farm to ask her father. "I want to marry your daughter". "Well, my boy you will have to prove to me that you are a man worthy of my daughter." "I'll do anything for my love" says the young man.

"You see that cow out in the pasture? Well go screw it." A little puzzled the boy says, "OK, anything for my love" On his return of doing his deed, he asks, "Now can I marry your daughter?" "Nope." says the father, "See that goat over yonder? Well, Go screw it." Again the boy obliges and returns saying, "Now can I marry your daughter?" "Nope. Not yet -- one more thing. See that pig in the sty? Well go to it." Once again he obliges and returns. This time the farmer is amazed at seeing this boy doing these deeds just to marry his daughter.

So the father finally tells the boy, "Now you can marry my daughter." To which the boy replies, "SCREW YOUR DAUGHTER, HOW MUCH YOU WANT FOR THAT PIG?"

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storm016
post Jul 2 2006, 06:57 AM
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:haha: what love does he have ......

this is a joke not very much funny but .. I need to write something

in the crazy ppl hospital .... "dunno the name" ..... an experiment made with bunch of patients put in a room and closed the door at them .. each one of them is trying to open the door except one which caught the eyes of the doctors .. they asked him .. " why don't you try to open the door " he replied " cos I got the keys with me "
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Oopsession
post Jul 2 2006, 07:49 AM
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:lol: :clap2: :clap2: that really is funny :lol: :grouphug:
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phirets33k
post Jul 2 2006, 10:55 AM
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nice joke Storm
i have one

A man is starting a bank account and when asked for a password by the female staff he replied "PENIS".
This is what the computer screen shows...

*Password Rejected - Not long enough*
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Oopsession
post Jul 2 2006, 01:14 PM
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:lol: phirets good one :clap2: :clap2:
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Oopsession
post Jul 2 2006, 06:43 PM
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One for the football fans :lol:

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storm016
post Jul 3 2006, 05:33 AM
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pherist ........ good one :good:

here is a joke

superman was flying over the city and he was horny as hell , he was checking windows and roofs .. untill he saw wounder woman on a roof lieing butt naked doing some tanning .. so he says "I'm superman I can go do my thing so fast that she wouldn't even notice" so he did ... wounder woman "what the <swearword snipped> was that " ... and the invisible man says "I don't know but my asshole is killing me "
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Oopsession
post Jul 3 2006, 05:40 AM
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ROFL Storm :clap2: :clap2: great joke :grouphug:

An old man in the nursing home got a bottle of wine for his birthday. He talked the old lady in the next room into sharing it with him.

After they were both totally bombed, he started groping the old lady and pulling at her clothes. He managed to get her blouse and bra off before she stopped him.

She said, "I can't do this, I have acute angina".

The old guy says "God, I hope so, you've got the ugliest ti*s I've ever seen."
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post Jul 3 2006, 06:32 AM
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:clap2: :clap2: Great jokes everyone!!
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adonisdemon
post Jul 3 2006, 06:42 AM
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QUOTE
She said, "I can't do this, I have acute angina".

The old guy says "God, I hope so, you've got the ugliest ti*s I've ever seen."

:haha:
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storm016
post Jul 3 2006, 08:45 AM
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:haha:

a group of ppl at a resturant talking about the thieft that was on TV last night and woundring who could have done it , a kid at the next table said " I did it " they replied " yeah you are right haha " a few seconds later they figuered it out :)

This post has been edited by storm016: Jul 3 2006, 08:46 AM
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Oopsession
post Jul 3 2006, 06:22 PM
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:lol: :clap: :clap:

The difference between having Guts and having Balls...

Guts is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

Balls is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the a** and having the balls to say, "You're next."




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post Jul 4 2006, 12:34 AM
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The Golden Urinal

Before the 2001 inauguration of George Bush, he was invited to a get-acquainted tour of the White House. After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked Bill Clinton if he could use his personal bathroom.

When he entered Clinton's private toilet, he was astonished to see that President Clinton had a fancy solid gold urinal.

That afternoon, George told his wife, Laura, about the urinal. "Just think " he said, "when I am president, I could have a gold urinal too. But I wouldn't do something that self-induligible!"

Later when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour of the White House, she told Hillary how impressed George had been at his discovery of the fact that in the President's private bathroom, the President had a gold urinal.

That evening, when Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed, Hillary smiled, and said to Bill, "I found out who peed in your saxophone.
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Oopsession
post Jul 4 2006, 03:33 AM
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:lol: :lol: :lol: :clap2: :clap2:

One day old man Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the Illinois State Fair. There is this man selling plane rides in his single prop show plane for $10 per person. Stumpy looks to Martha and says, "Martha, I think I really should try that." Martha replies, "I know you want to Stumpy, but we have a lot of bills, and you know the money is tight, and $10 is $10." So Stumpy goes without. Over the next few years they return every year, and the same thing, Stumpy wants to ride, but Martha says no money.

Finally, when Stumpy and Martha are both about 70 years old, Stumpy looks to Martha, and says, "Martha, I'm 70 now, and I don't know if I'll ever get the chance again, so I just have to have a ride in that there airplane." Martha replies in the same old fashion, and Stumpy kind of slumps down. The pilot is standing near by and overhears the conversation...

The pilot pipes up, "Excuse me folks, I couldn't help but hear your situation, and I have a deal for you. I'll take both of you up together, and if you can both make the entire trip without saying a word, or even making the slightest sound, I'll give the ride for free. But if either of you make a sound, its $10 each." Well, Martha and Stumpy look at each other, and agree to take the ride.

The pilot takes them up, and starts to do loop de loops, twists, dives, climbs and spins. No sound. The pilot lands the plane, looks back at Stumpy and says, "Sir, I have to hand it to ya, you didn't make even the slightest sound and that was my best stuff." Stumpy looks back at the pilot and says, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but $10 is $10!"





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