Jokes- Part 2!, Tell Us A Joke Ha ha! Options

[vinnieza]

The old thread is by Oopsession here:

http://www.mobile9.com/invboard/index.php?showtopic=17360

Congrats it reached over 100 pages :good:

This post has been edited by vinnieza: Jun 21 2006, 01:10 PM

[Oopsession]

I don't understand why the jokes thread was closed..and part 2 has opend....if it's because it reached over 100 pages....so has describe the person above you??? :unsure:

[adonisdemon]

Oopsie - when threads get big, they become difficult to maintain.

so has describe the person above you???

vince...? :whip:

[Oopsession]

:lol: Ok....can i join in....Vince :whip: :lol: :P

[vinnieza]

Same reasons for the unofficial shoutbox. Makes it easier to mod if something changes (splitting 100 pages i remmember was a nightmare :P).

lol i posted too late. Well what adonis said :P

This post has been edited by vinnieza: Jun 22 2006, 01:20 AM

[Oopsession]

Better late than never :lol: :P

[Oopsession]

A young girl gets married and a few days later her mother comes to visit. When she arrives, she is shocked to find her daughter standing naked at the front door. "What are you doing!" insists her mother. "Mom, it's my love dress! Don't you like it?" "I'll come back in a few weeks when the honeymoon is over," replies her mother, as she turns and leaves for the car.

A few weeks later, the mother arrives at her daughter's house once. Again, she is shocked when her naked daughter answers the door to greet her. "Now what are you doing?" "Mom, it's my love dress! It keeps the marriage spicy!" "I'll give you a few more weeks," replies her mother, as she turns and leaves for the car.

Later that night, the mother decides to try it for herself. When her husband arrives home, she greets him at the front door in the nude. "Honey, what are hell are you doing!" remarks the husband. "It's my love dress, dear! What do you think of it?" "Well, to be perfectly honest," replies her husband, "I think you should have ironed it first!"

[adonisdemon]

"I think you should have ironed it first!"

:haha:

[Oopsession]

:lol: Glad you liked the joke hun :winkiss:

[Oopsession]

Grandma and Grandpa were watching a healing service on the television. The evangelist called to all who wanted to be healed to go to their television set, place one hand on the TV and the other hand on the body part where they wanted to be healed. Grandma got up and slowly hobbled to the television set, placed her right hand on the set and her left hand on her arthritic shoulder that was causing her to have great pain. Then Grandpa got up, went to the TV, placed his right hand on the set and his left hand on his crotch. Grandma scowled at him and said, "I guess you just don't get it. The purpose of doing this is to heal the sick, not raise the dead."

:10: Good joke oops. :clap2: :clap2:

__


Smart a** Johnny

Johnny always wanted to have sex with this hot blonde girl in his office but she belonged to someone else. One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said: "I will give you a $100 if you let me have you" but the girl said "NO".

Johnny said I'll be fast, I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up.

She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult with her boyfriend. So she called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend says ask him for $200, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down. So she agrees and accepts the proposal.

Half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks what happened. She said "The S.O.B used coins and I had to keep my word."

A newly-married couple came home from their honeymoon and moved into the upstairs apartment they'd rented from the groom's parents.

That night, the father of the groom was awakened from his sleep by his wife.

"Tony, listen!" she whispered. He listened. Upstairs, the bed was creaking in rhythm.

The wife said, "Come on, Tony! Let's make love!"

So Tony climbed on top of his wife, and pounded the old bone home.

As he was trying to fall back asleep 15 minutes later, the bed upstairs started creaking in rhythm again.

"Come on, Tony!" said the wife. "Let's make love again!"

Once again, Tony climbed on top of his wife and screwed her as hard as he could.

As he was trying to fall back asleep 15 minutes later, the bed upstairs started creaking in rhythm again.

"Come on, Tony!" said the wife. "Let's do it again!"

So Tony grabbed a broom and pounded on the ceiling as he shouted, "Hey, kids, cut it out! You're killing your old man down here!"

[Oopsession]

:lol: :clap: :clap: :clap: Great jokes hun


If you think life is bad... How would you like to be an egg? You only get laid once. You only get eaten once. It takes 4 minutes to get hard. Only 2 minutes to get soft. You share your box with 11 other guys. But worst of all. The only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother. So cheer up... Your life ain't that bad



A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, "Anthony proposed to me an hour ago." "Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked. "Because he also told me he is an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a Hell." Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is."

[storm016]

and a score for oopsie ..... crowd cheering


here is the oldest joke I've ever heard ....

a bear and a rabbit taking a s*** in the woods ....... oh oh oh ... you know it .. so sorry :)

[Oopsession]

:lol: Storm :clap2: :clap2:

A young man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and is going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry." The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, "Okay, Ma. Guess which one I'm going to marry." She immediately replies, "The red-head in the middle." Stunned, the young man says, "That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"

"I don't like her," she says.