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> Jokes!, Tell Us A Joke Ha ha!
adonisdemon
post Oct 20 2005, 03:28 PM
Post #16



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QUOTE
How to Impress a Man:
1) Show up naked.
2) Bring beer.

a friend also helps :devil:

:haha:
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amnah
post Oct 20 2005, 11:12 PM
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a woman in bed said to her husband; i'll make you the happiest man alive.. and her husband replied : i'll miss you.
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nuppe
post Oct 21 2005, 03:13 AM
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HEHE Jag vet ett as bra skämt vänta ni ska få höra det någon annan gång
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rikard_sweden
post Oct 21 2005, 06:25 AM
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You have to exuse my mate above (David, ditt :bash: )
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Pneumatic
post Oct 21 2005, 08:04 AM
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A man turns to his wife and says "Honey, why don't you ever tell me when you have an orgasm?!""Simple"replies the wife, "you're never there!"

@Rikard: Had to be one of your friends! :lol:
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Oopsession
post Oct 21 2005, 04:43 PM
Post #21



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:10: i like that 1 Pneumatic, i see you have many talents :clap2:

Here is 1 for you:
How do old people practice safe sex?
On the floor there is less chance of breaking a Hip :lol:
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amnah
post Oct 22 2005, 09:22 AM
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name on bird who cannot sit..

a penguin..
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Oopsession
post Oct 22 2005, 02:05 PM
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QUOTE(amnah @ Oct 22 2005, 04:22 PM)
name on bird who cannot sit..

a penguin..
[right][snapback]162532[/snapback][/right]

i have absaloutely peed my pants lol if a was giving prizes you would have got first :10:
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Oopsession
post Oct 22 2005, 06:23 PM
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"Geometry"

Teacher: John, give me a sentence using the word, "geometry."

John: Okay, there once was this little acorn. Then it grew and grew and woke one day and said, ''Gee, I'm a tree.''
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Oopsession
post Oct 22 2005, 06:34 PM
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3 Nuns in a convent, a ghost appears and waves his C*** at them and says "hocus pocus" the nuns reply "never mind the hocus, just f****** pocus" :lol:
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beano
post Oct 22 2005, 06:52 PM
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hehe good one oopsession! I think I've told this one before but I love it, so I will tell again - *WARNING* Dirty joke...

Pierre the fighter pilot goes on a picnic with his girlfriend. They are eating when suddenly his girlfriend says "Pierre, kiss me". So pierre splashes red wine across her face and gives her a huge sloppy kiss. Pierre's girlfriend cries out "Pierre, what are you doing?!", and he replies, "I am Pierre the fighter pilot, when I have red meat, I have red wine". So the picnic continues and then Pierre's girlfriend says "Pierre, kiss me lower" so he throws white wine across her chest and goes in for the kiss. "Pierre!!! What are you doing?!!!" and he replies, I am Pierre the fighter pilot, when I have white meat, I have white wine". The picnic continues on, and Pierre's girlfriend says "Pierre, kiss me lower" so Pierre throws some cognac across her nether regions and sets her on fire. "PIERRE!!!!!!!! WHAT THE F@$# ARE YOU DOING??!!!!!!" and he replies, "I am Pierre the fighter pilot, when I go down, I go down in flames!"
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Oopsession
post Oct 23 2005, 02:08 AM
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that was ace lol beano :clap2: :10:

what do you call a gay dinosaur ? mega soreass remember its only a joke :lol: :haha:
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Pneumatic
post Oct 23 2005, 02:17 AM
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:lol: That was a good one!

I thought this would be fitting considering Halloween is just around the corner.......

A couple were invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early, she decided to go the party. Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him. She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new chick that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a "quickie." Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior. She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of a time he had. He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you’re not there." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied, "I’ll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But you’re not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to......."

This post has been edited by Pneumatic: Oct 23 2005, 02:19 AM
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rikard_sweden
post Oct 23 2005, 02:59 AM
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:haha:
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Pneumatic
post Oct 23 2005, 03:16 AM
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Here's another for you, a little sick if you get it, but still funny!

What did one lesbian vampire say to the other?


"I'll see you in a month :wink:"
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