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> Jokes- Part 2!, Tell Us A Joke Ha ha!
roseheyli
post Mar 8 2012, 08:58 AM
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The Lucky Saucer

An art collector is walking through London looking for a Christmas present, when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a shop.

He does a double take, when he notices that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two pounds.

The shop owner replies,

“I’m sorry, but the cat isn’t for sale. ”

The collector says, “Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I’ll pay you twenty pounds for it. ”

And the owner says, “Sold, ” and hands over the cat.

The collector continues, “For twenty quid, I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat’s used to it and it’ll save me having to get a dish.”


And the owner says, “Sorry, but that’s my lucky saucer. So far this week I’ve sold sixty-eight cats. ”
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roseheyli
post Mar 8 2012, 09:00 AM
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An English couple adopt a child from Germany, however, this should not be a problem. There is nothing to worry about as it's a healthy baby boy.

As the child grows older, he shows a preference for dressing in lederhosen and has a pudding bowl haircut, but there is nothing to worry about as all his basic functions develop normally. He can walk, eat, sleep, read and so on, but for some reason the German child never speaks.


The concerned parents take him to a doctor, who reassures them that as the German child is perfectly developed in all other areas, there is nothing to worry about and that he is sure the speech faculty will eventually blossom.

Years pass. The German child enters his teens, and still it is not speaking, though in all other respects he is fully functional.

The German child's mother is especially distressed by this, but attempts to conceal her sadness. One day she makes the German child, who is now 17 years old and still silent, a bowl of tomato soup.

Soon, the German child appears in the kitchen and suddenly says, "Mother. This soup has no paprika in it."

The German child's mother is astonished. "All these years," she exclaims, "we assumed you could not speak! And yet all along it appears you could. Why? Why did you never say anything before?"

"Because, mother," answers the German child, "up until now, everything has been satisfactory."
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HeavensCloud
post Mar 8 2012, 09:34 AM
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calypsodriver
post Mar 25 2012, 05:12 AM
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:D
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wrecked_life
post Sep 8 2012, 01:37 AM
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GM Like Computer Industry
At a recent COMDEX, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated that:

"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got1,000 miles to the gallon."

General Motors has issued a press release stating:

1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you
would just accept this, restart and drive on.

4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car XP" or "Car 2000". But then you would have to buy more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive, but would only work on 5% of the roads.

7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning light would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.

10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the justice dept.

12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn to
drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

13. You would press the "start " button to shut off the engine.
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universalrca
post Sep 16 2012, 05:36 AM
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tintu has brought a jockey pantie first time in his life. And he showed that 2 all without wearing anything. But when he came back 2 home, he saw that the pantie is at the table.
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universalrca
post Sep 16 2012, 05:52 AM
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b1: I got 3 apples with 5 rupees
B2: how?
B1: I brought 1 apple with 5 rupees.and i was taked one more and ran. Then the shopkeeper throun me one apple. Then i got 3 apples.
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universalrca
post Sep 16 2012, 07:13 AM
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Begger: please give me something, please.
Tintu: yes get in. I'll give u a trip.
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universalrca
post Sep 16 2012, 07:19 AM
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Teacher: How to ask, is tomarrow a holiday in holyday in english?
Tintu: tomarrow is a hollyday, true or false.
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universalrca
post Sep 16 2012, 07:25 AM
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Sir.: a=b
b=c
Then a=c.
Tintu, give an example.
Tintu: sir, like you
And you likes ur daughter
Then I likes ur daughter.
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universalrca
post Sep 16 2012, 07:45 AM
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Teacher: give 3 reasons for the statement "The earth is in round shape"
Tin2: my father says, my mother says, now also u r saying earth is round in shape.
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wrecked_life
post Sep 16 2012, 09:13 AM
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destraction
post Oct 16 2012, 08:28 AM
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destraction
post Oct 16 2012, 08:28 AM
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destraction
post Oct 16 2012, 08:29 AM
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